Three axioms for a happy life

To live a happy life, there are three axioms, pieces of philosophical guidance, that you need to follow. Luckily, they are quite easy to stick to! They are:

• The only person you need permission from is yourself.
• You are great just as you are.
• Be yourself, everyone else is taken.

These are far more useful than the pieces of ‘familial wisdom’ my paternal grandfather told me the last time I saw him. They were:

If enough lager do you sup,
Rest assured you will throw up

Vomit is better, I believe,
Than when you just do a dry heave

A bit of sponge with some bleach on it,
Is really good to clean up vomit.